A story of survival
Sophomore deals with loss of parents
April 18, 2019
It takes one day to turn your life inside out and upside down. The day it all happened, he started his day like normal, woke up, got some breakfast and got ready to go visit his girlfriend’s house.
As hours pass by, Michael Kane was curious of when his parents would pick him up, and as it kept getting later, Michael asked his girlfriend’s parents for a ride home.
When he arrived at home he wasn’t suspicious that a normal police car was parked outside of his house. Knowing that his father has many friends and a few of them are policemen, but as soon as he enters his house, he sees all the furniture covered, his sister, on the ground bawling. Then, the police officer approached him suddenly, “Are you Michael Kane?” With hesitation Michael replied with a yes.
Michael has said he will never forget the moment when a police officer flatly told him his parents had died and that he was sorry for his loss.
Michael first thought it was some sick, twisted, and set up joke made by the officer, in disbelief that his parents were actually harmed in any way, let alone deceased. But after a few moments, his brain was consumed by instinct that his father had taught him for his entire life, following every single thing he has been told if any one of his parents died.
“My father always prepared me for if I lost him, or my mother, but never both,” Michael said.
Through his confusion he was set to what was described as autopilot, packing up all his things in a neatly order, then moved on to his sisters clothes and belongings to make sure they were both ready to leave.
When he made it outside there were several people from around the area that came to help out. Michael says he was very fortunate in his situation, describing that most kids in this situation don’t have people to go live with. Or people to help pull him out of the emotional pit of malice and despair.
The next few weeks was full of trips out of state to visit officers to make plans, funerals and memorials, admittedly all Michael could feel, was nothing. Numbness, no thoughts of happiness, no jokes, nothing that was like the reckless and creative Michael before.
However he did get his emotions back occasionally.
“Every emotion, hooked, on a fishing line, being jerked around constantly, swirled, turned, torn, ripping off emotions and puncturing through the hook of my own thoughts,” Michael said
Then suddenly, he would feel numbness again.
“I was just a husk walking, talking and only doing things out of natural reaction,” he added.
When he feels numb, he starts to think of this emotionless, empty monster, void of the thoughts he used to have.
One of the hardest parts was staying at a new home in his uncle’s house.
“Waking up every morning exactly as if nothing happened, then realizing that this isn’t my old room, this isn’t my old house. This is not my old life,” he said.
Parents provide a sense of safety and a house to live in, as well as love and nurture.
“But what happens when you suddenly lose what makes home feel like home, what makes you feel a sense of belonging?” Michael asks.
Every night for Michael Kane felt like being taken in for a night at a strangers house. Now, after receiving professional help and help from family, friends, he has gotten much better but is still not sure if he will ever get over the loss of his parents or completely accept that it happened.
Incredibly inspired to make the image of his parents proud, Michael has recently started going into theatrical arts, and has shown interest in singing, and attending lessons at Sweetwater twice a week. He loves what he does and hopes to do voice acting as a hobby.
Michael also likes video games, mostly including League Of Legends, a multiplayer competitive MOBA. Michael is very unique in his own intriguing way and according to him he has been harassed for it all his life until the end of freshman year.
However that didn’t keep him completely tied down from being the young, energetic person that he is, always able and up for a challenge, but, recently in the past year, the most challenging turning point of his life was a make or break for his world.