Football season is in full swing and just as every year a new Madden comes with it. But with all the examples of football coming to video games, what if instead the video games came to football? Here is a hypothetical team of unstoppable video game superstars that could beat anyone in their path.
Head Coach- John Madden
While not necessarily a video game character, his impact on the gaming community through his titular franchise cannot be understated. Madden has a great reputation for coaching making this an easy choice.
Offensive Coordinator- Robin (Fire Emblem)
Robin is a wartime tactician used to planning around and with magic and supernatural abilities on the battlefield. That is going to translate pretty closely here.
Quarterback- Master Cheif (Halo)
This is a perfect fit. Known for his accuracy, physical strength, and ability Master Cheif is everything you would want in a Quarterback. He has proven leadership skills and is a strong figure to rally the team behind.
WR1- Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic)
Despite his small frame his ludicrous speed and fantastic hands allow him to take this spot. Once you get the ball in his hands he is already in the endzone, and plays like a jet sweep are unbeatable. His vertical is also great if it would ever come down to that.
WR2- Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic)
The ultimate lifeform is yet another devious receiver for this team. Similar to Sonic in every way that counts, plus some better coordination, and a more aggressive playstyle.
WR3 (slot)-Crash Bandicoot (Crash Bandicoot)
This N. sane animal is fast, erratic, and can hit shockingly hard. In other words, this is pretty much prime Antonio Brown in video game form.
TE- Kratos (God of War)
He is big, fast, shifty, and powerful. This God slayer is a dynamic player in every sense of the word and can set up his offense nicely with devastating blocks, or a blinding fast touchdown.
RB- Senator Armstrong (Metal Gear)
6’7”, 500 lbs, and as fast as they come. This official can run past, bulldoze, or humble any defender in his path. Beyond this he has confirmed college football experience, giving him an edge in knowledge.
LT- Donkey Kong (Donkey Kong)
The best offensive tackle in the league right now has the nickname ‘silverback’ so an actual gorilla should be a great fit. He is big, coordinated, and a great friend making him ideal for this position.
LG- Snorlax (Pokémon)
This character is known for not moving, and why would he? 7 feet in airforces plus over 1,000 pounds is not going anywhere unless the defense has a flute.
C- Big Daddy (Bioshock)
Just look at it. Over 7 feet tall, completely metal, and likely many hundreds if not thousands of pounds. Nothing is getting past this.
RG- King K Rool (Donkey Kong)
Yet another big evil fella for the line, this crocodile has been described as ‘pure muscle’ with strength greater than most gorillas. Beyond this, he is undoubtedly heavy with a stomach covered in gold.
RT- Bowser (Mario)
Over 7 feet and a minimum of 400 pounds stands a beast of a king at right tackle. If this doesn’t convince you that he can’t get around them maybe his dry form where he becomes several thousand pounds heavier and faster will.
DC- GLaDOS (Portal)
A hyperintelligent computer with the only weakness of poor mobility is taking the defensive coordinator spot. Their focus on causing as much pain and suffering as possible is perfect for leading this war crime of defense.
DE- Charizard (Pokémon)
A star player that needs no introduction. This blazing competitor is a dragon and a fast attack-based one at that. Also, fire is going to be an issue for any people standing against him
DT- Ganon (Zelda)
The king of evil is a beast of a man, or in some incarnations just a beast. Huge, angry, powerful, magical, and evil enough to go all out on any poor lineman that stands against him.
DT- The Ender Dragon (Minecraft)
She is a super fast, big, and powerful dragon. Even if she couldn’t barrel through the O-line for some reason she could just fly above them and dive in.
DE- Hades (Hades)
The God of hell from Greek mythology makes for a fantastic final boss and edge rusher with his insane speed power and magic. He may legitimately steal the souls of the offense both literally and figuratively.
OLB- Kiryu Kazuma (Yakuza)
The Fourth Chairman of the Tojo Clan is a weird and insane character to put on the field. Casually faster than tigers and stronger than any person has any right to be plus genius-level intelligence makes him a force to reckon with for the offense.
MLB- Echo (Overwatch)
The youngest player coming in at a whopping 14 years old takes the lead in the defense. Her futuristic AI can almost certainly diagnose any play the opposing team tries to run and get there with blinding speed. She is the ultimate matchup as her ability lets her scan and transform into anybody on the field giving her at least an even matchup.
OLB- Doom Slayer (Doom)
For someone who ordinarily outwits, outspeeds, and overpowers the machinations of Hell, football would seem like subtraction. With his awesome build and aforementioned traits he has the versatility to do it all in his outside linebacker position.
CB-Sly Cooper (Sly Cooper)
He’s slim, quick, and known for lurking and snatching that which doesn’t belong to him. This fox sneaks his way into the cornerback position.
CB- Dante (Devil May Cry)
Someone will cry when they have to line up against this unholy matchup. Dante has demonic speed, power, and durability, but that’s just the start. Most impressively, he has telekinesis, which is completely broken when defending the pass.
SS- Gabriel (Ultrakill)
The first angelic safety comes in the form of Gabriel. With teleportation, maybe the highest speed of anyone on here, plus the ability to weaponize and manipulate light, it is nearly impossible to get by him.
FS- Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)
He will bring this offense despair. He has god-level strength and speed, a long reach due to his height, and a wing that can be used for further coverage. Furthermore, he can teleport, create illusions, and use advanced magic to prevent any would-be scorers from getting past him.
K- Chun Li (Street Fighter)
An almost completely kicking-based fighter makes her the perfect person for this role. Her kicks’ speed, power, and accuracy simply cannot be matched.
P-Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil)
If by an act of God, this team is forced to punt Leon can handle it. His consistent flips and kicks against the undead make him good for this role, although hopefully, he likes the bench.
Commentary Team – NBA Jam guy and PaRappa the Rapper (NBA Jam, PaRappa the Rapper)
The absolute electricity the NBA Jam announcer brings to every occasion is unmatched by anyone. Also having a silly little guy with him in the booth for him to mentor and bounce off of would help it to be even more of an absolute joy to listen to.
