It is that time of year again. 

The holidays.

The time of year that I dread but look forward to every year. 

The dread starts in October when all I hear is why

My nana loves to ask “Why aren’t you dressing up for Halloween? ” 

My mom always asks “Why do you spend Halloween alone not with your friends? ” 

Then November rolls around.

People start asking about what I want for Christmas and I put together the list of people I get to buy presents for that year. 

I LOVE THIS TIME OF NOVEMBER.

Then it’s Thanksgiving. 

We wake up early to do breakfast and lunch at my Grandma Traci’s in Huntington. 

We talk and laugh about the stupidest topics like whether or not the 44-ounce Heinz ketchup goes in the fridge or on the pantry next to the loaf of white bread. 

Then we drive to Columbia City to have dinner with my Nana’s and Papa’s side of the family. 

That is a different story. 

No matter what, politics always get brought up and people get upset with each other. The room gets so tense that you could slice it with a knife. 

My great grandma hated the tension that was created so she created a tradition of bingo. 

We played bingo until the prize basket which is always filled with the Bath n’ Body work holiday sents, fuzzy socks, Lindor chocolates, and little toys for the little kids, but my favorite part was the cards that we got the first time we won. 

She would write us handwritten cards and put 20 dollars in them. 

I didn’t care about the money I wanted to hear her favorite memories we created over the last year. 

On the way home from Nana’s, without a doubt, my mom goes on a rant about my Nana and Papa and everyone on that side of the family cause she “doesn’t like the politics” or “doesn’t like the conversations”. 

It’s the same thing for Christmas. It’s a cycle we repeat every year.

I love the holiday season. But I dread it just as much.