The B+ on my paper stared up at me, and while many people would find themselves proud, I was almost in tears.
The need to be perfect in every way sits on my shoulders as I walk through my day to day life. What am I if not smart, if not successful and if I’m not making the adults in my life proud? 

I need to be viewed as perfect. Even while I know this is completely unattainable, I still find myself trying to get as close as humanly possible. It’s not only me, either.

In a recent Charger Online Survey, 83% of students said that they put pressure on themselves to maintain good grades. Out of 394 responses, 326 students said that they put immense pressure on themselves to succeed in school. Going deeper than that, 255 people agreed that they would consider themselves a perfectionist. 

The website Psychology Today defines perfectionism as “a trait that makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or looks. When healthy, it can be self-motivating and drive you to overcome adversity and achieve success. When unhealthy, it can be a fast and enduring track to unhappiness.”

While perfectionism is sometimes motivated by parents or other factors, most times it is derived from internal doubts of self-worth and worthiness, Psychology Today said later in their informational page. 

“Why we put our worthiness in a number, or a letter, I have no idea.” Senior Ella Lim said. 

As many times as my parents can tell me that it’s not that big of a deal, or that it is only one grade, I am still upset about it. Other students agree. 

“I call myself a perfectionist because I want to be perfect in what I do, and not understanding stuff frustrates me because I’ve had little problems understanding things, yet I know perfection is unattainable.” Ella Lim said. The problem is, when trying to get over the need to be perfect you risk losing your motivation altogether. 

For me personally, perfectionism allows for my grades to be maintained at a high level, get my assignments done on time, be kind to my friends and the general public and overall function in my day to day life. The problem is, at times it becomes inescapable.

“I hate feeling this kind of pressure. It’s annoying having parents breathing down my back about grades. I never really cared about grades but now if I bomb an assignment I start dreading what they’re gonna say about it”  a student who responded to the survey said. 

I become stuck on the mundane day-to-day stuff that should typically be an easy task. Even when it brings me a lot of joy, like writing and art, when I get caught up in tiny details no one will notice. 

I’ve noticed that a lot of times I get obsessive when I’m doing too many things at once, or when I haven’t been sleeping. As annoying as the adults in your life sound when they say you need sleep, they’re right. 

My advice to someone who is struggling with perfectionism is the following: let yourself rest.