I’m Done Apologizing

Growing up as a conservative woman has been hard.

This isn’t a pity party, this isn’t me fishing for compliments, this isn’t to get made fun of in the comments.

This is my truth.

This is how I’ve felt politically for nearly 18 years.

Society tells us what we need to be. That’s not just directed towards men, women or any other group; it’s directed to everyone. Everyone has an opinion, everyone has a voice, everyone has judgement. It’s unavoidable, it’s a part of life. But when some people choose to voice their opinions or judgement loudly, it becomes a social norm–one we all need to accept.

My entire life I’ve been judged. Not just politically, but socially, physically, mentally. As I said before, everyone has an opinion, and that’s not a bad thing, that’s life. I’ve been told I’m not skinny enough, too tall, too loud, too slow, too smart, too politically invested, too dramatic, too feminine, too religious–too myself. It seems like there’s no pleasing anyone anymore.

I found my voice in politics at a young age, nearly 10 or 11. Some say I was “brainwashed” by my parents or grandparents or the news channels I would watch at dinner. I disagree. I make my own opinions based off what I love: Jesus, America and history. Those three things have been the root of my political and social agenda for years and will continue to be well into the future.

As I’ve grown, it’s been harder to be “accepted” for those beliefs. The news outlets I follow attack the presidents I adore, the celebrities I follow call me a “deplorable” or a “redneck.” I’ve been told by my peers that I hate women and people of color because I’m a conservative. These are all without knowing me, asking about my background or wanting to have a civil conversation.

I can remember one time that I felt this judgement most, right after President Trump was inaugurated. I support the president, not only because I am a Republican, but because I believe in supporting whoever is in charge of our nation. We are stronger together than we are divided.

My family had been watching a sitcom we loved to watch together, one that was always lighthearted and funny. The theme of the episode was how “freedom was dead” because Trump was our president. It talked about how no one should feel safe in our country and Republicans should be ashamed for who they elected. I broke down in tears immediately afterwards.

Although I couldn’t vote in the 2016 election, it hurt. It felt like a direct attack on my beliefs and what I supported. It felt like I needed to apologize for my political beliefs, for supporting the president of our country. For a few years, I fell into a mindset, believing I needed to hide my beliefs and feel ashamed for them.

I’m done apologizing.

The beauty of the American experiment is that we’re not all going to believe the same thing, we’re going to disagree. Why else would we have political parties? Not everyone has the same ideals. Our government allows us to combine those to create something powerful, something magical, something that works.

I know my ideas are not always right, I know that I’m going to be under constant criticism; that’s fine with me. Everyone disagrees in some way. There’s no “right” or “wrong” answer when it comes to opinions, but I’m done apologizing for mine.

I’m not going to feel bad for being a conservative woman.