Going back to work creates anxiety

Going back to work is terrifying.

Every part of going outside is different. 

Gloves, a mask, a lot of hand sanitizer are now the new normal and has changed the culture of the world. Instead of worrying about how I am going to look in my swimsuit this summer, I am now worried if someone touches me at work or if I am wearing my mask properly.

Now I have to face the public everyday with the thought and fear of becoming sick or getting someone else sick. Cleaning the counter and seeing the dressing room closed was shell-shocking. 

Everything I grew to know is now flipped on its head. I used to be familiar with endless amounts of germs. Used to interact and smile when people passed. I used to never be shy of interaction but now I’m fearful that I might spread some germs and get someone seriously sick.

All of my work is surrounded by the constant fear of getting sick. Even the little things have changed. no longer do we make coffee in the morning to share and no longer do we rejoice in the mornings by high-fiving and hugging each other. It seems as if the social aspect of my job is dead. 

No longer do I feel my job is fun.

Everything we do now is meticulously tied to this pandemic. I understand the concern but I also miss the simple things that I used to once take for granted. I miss smiling to ongoing shoppers and saying hello without someone asking me to repeat myself because they couldn’t hear me past my mask.

Getting out of the house was nice and seeing people smile was uplifting.

Working again is different but it’s uplifting to see perseverance of humans and to see how people can smile through this hard time. 

Going back to work is scary but refreshing.

This refreshing feeling won’t last and the fear will come back but for now it’s that feeling that is worth waking up for.